Childminders make exceedingly choosy house buyers …

We are currently at the ‘estate agents grappling wildly for our custom’ stage – dipping a tentative toe in the local market.

As a minimum I need lots of parking, a downstairs loo - for me as much as for the children (see previous ‘running’ entry), a downstairs office (my kitchen cupboards are currently being taken over by Ofsted-related files, and my kitchen table - once swept of the dreaded playdough - doubles as office space), a super-mega-sized playroom, a really good-size level garden accessible from the playroom (some mature trees would be nice - but not lleylandi), a kitchen with room for a big table (so we can do cooking and drawing and sticking and stuff), lots of sunshine and natural light (children are like plants), and laminate or lino flooring (children are also like puppies).

Oh … and I do have a budget you know … so please sell this house for a small fortune and find me a cheapo bargain to the above spec …

Then I can have some real fun in the Early Learning Centre.

And I’m sorry, Mr. Estate Agent, for bleaching your jacket.